Life. We all have it, we all experience it differently.

I wanted to touch base on something that my experience taught me.

The heart and brain will never be one. They are not friends and will never be friends. My heart is depressed and my brain is overloaded with information.

Not all are equal, just like the heart is not equal to the brain. The brain fights for survival and logics. The heart fights for compassion, and fairness. We are loving beings at the end of the day.

What is the true meaning to life? I don’t think anyone knows. I don’t know much. I can’t even tell you what I want to do from this point out. I can tell you, though, that a smile is better than a frown.

A child is pure. A child doesn’t know what lies are. They are usually heartfelt and don’t understand what life is. Life is their playground until one day, someone shuts them up. Their brain registers a protection mechanism.

Life isn’t always rainbows and unfortunately, one day we grow old. Stupidity sells. . That has nothing to do with the heart. The heart feels, yet the brain is more logical. The heart knows it never dies, but the brain is aware. The internal battle we all face on a daily basis comes from the heart and the brain always fighting and coming into conflict with one another. They are never at peace.

Learn how to build boundaries around a broken heart.

Broken can be healed. Life isn’t always as it seems. What is right for us here isn’t always right for some one else far away. This world is separated. People are divided. There is a lot of real life issue that we face on a day to day basis. We get blinded in not wanting to feel anymore. We can’t always express ourselves because when we do, we get shut down.

Life is a blessing, a gift, a lesson to self reflect on what it is that makes your heart sing. Do something you love and the rest will follow. Don’t look into the bullshit.

All this comes from my own personal experience; none of this comes from me studying or doing anything other than living. We are all different, we are all one for one. We all have some sort of gift that this world needs to see. Don’t be afraid to shine your inner light. That’s what should shine in your darkest moments. I used to feel anger on the inside at times. I used to lash out and all this fire inside was becoming worse then a desert fire. I didn’t understand that this fire also had its own light. This fire set up my biggest light – the light of self reflection.

Passing by

The days became numbered; life became a moment lived in the past.

Years pass, yet scars remain.

we listen, don’t hear, so we glide with the movement hoping to catch a grip of reality.

How Do I feel?

How do I feel?

That’s a good question. I don’t know. Most days, these feelings feel like they are just there. It’s like a part of me is lost while another part of me is content with being lost.

Trauma, the things we go through, shape us, numb us, and define our character. We are all humans. We all have feelings, and feelings turn to emotions: emotions, energy in motion.

So what is the point of me telling you all this? Where is the success story behind this? How do I shed light through a place that seems like there is no coming out?

I remain survivng; there will always be this internal voice inside of my head telling me that what I offer isn’t enough to provide the best I can give.

My stomach feels heavy right now, feeling like I am ashamed of letting people see who I am. I am a deep person with deep thought, compassionate, however, guarded.

Confusion sucks; it doesn’t mean what you feel will last forever; let’s start believing our stories.

The more I think I don’t matter, the more I will never matter because reality is about perspective. So let’s start believing that we do matter.

Daze and confused

I am hunkering here thinking about words to bring life to this letter.

We are living in a pandemic. People are dying.

Nothing feels like the way things were.

Wait, let me, ooh, never mind, but wait.

I lost focus; don’t we all lose focus.

Nothing is making sense. What does anymore?

Sir, I have a question.

Do you think you can help me?

I seem to be lost.

I wanted to know if you have seen this girl.

I went walking and found that I wasn’t where I thought I was and lost her.

It is starting to rain, sorry to bother you.

Am I dreaming, or is this real?

How have you been?

Sincerely Yours

When talking about how you feel, you get labeled.

We all go through life, passing by it, including myself.

So my question is, how do we slow down and actually embrace the present?

In a world full of social media and the rising of influencers, what are we actually influencing? We overuse words that hold so much power. Words like God, love, I miss you. When we actually interact with another person, some let’s do it for the gram type feeling. Rather than living in the moment, our moment gets lived for a brief scroll through. The instant dopamine that feeds us our happiness.

Now I get personal and tell you, and I hold a lot of space for others; I rarely hold space for myself. I self explode in the most dangerous ways thinking what people mean isn’t true. Overly used words leave me feeling empty. I have been battling with this bad addiction; the walls seem like caving in at times; however, i pull through, I been through worse, and I know that God has me here for a reason. Somewhere in my lives self-worth knowing I deserve more than where I am.

I interact with some people who think I am a deep thinker, which I am; however, I am extremely disconnected with the thought that I think because knowing all this is like watching your favorite reality tv show. It’s pointless at the end of the day. Create what you need to create; let go of the false notion that things need to matter.

I am not telling you what to do; I am telling myself how I feel; even though I am grateful that you are reading this right now, I just wanted to tell you that whatever you are going through will soon surpass.


Being A Muslim in America

Being a Muslim American hasn’t been hard. However, being a person that never understand religion nor god, that where things got hard.

In life, there needs to be a place where we feel fulfilled, where we feel safe, free of all judgments, and accept where we are in life.

After surviving cancer, I started looking deeper into life, and I got lost in the after effect that I started back to where I began; this time, I didn’t have the proper tools, nor did I have God.

See, what turned me off with religion wasn’t the religion itself. It was the people representing the religion. God doesn’t judge, all are god creatures, yet people feel entitled to share a belief that they feel is right.

The deeper you look into life aspects, the further you’ll need to climb to get out of the hole you are digging.

By saying by all this, and what I want to tell you guys, is no matter what others think of you, worry about what you think about yourself. Why god created a creature like you. What is your purpose, and how do you want to be remembered when you die.

self talk

There a voice living within me telling me that I’m not worthy of the connection I need to be who I want.

Who are you? What do you want from me?

I’m the voice of your past called trauma. We both have been hurt by life. Why should we care and feel when all we do is get let down by people and their actions.

We get let down time and time again by allowing people in, and all they do is hurt us. They forget what we did for them, only to leave us for their own selfish needs.

Is that so? Why do you want to hold on to things that hurt us if living is here now? Where do you want to go from here? Do you want our time to be stolen by a bunch of nobodies so that we die in this black void calling emotions?

This is why I numb you.

This is why I talk to you.

You would rather want to be numb than be anything other than that because you feel too much?

Seasons change

Your emotions will get you killed. Guard your heart ignore the rest. Love the fuck out of yourself, keep walking. This world may seem divided, yet you remain intact because you are part of the world. Nothing will ever be where it is in place today because we change as the season go. Yet we remain the same in the memories that fade with time.

Hanging on.

Hanging from the tip of the iceberg, I fell into the freezing water. The cold water ran through my veins. Leaving in shock, I tried to find the warmth in things that left me feeling cold. Oooh, how I miss the taste of coffee on your lips. I miss the sound of your crackling ankles in the morning, nothing feels like home when you are not around.