No winning

If I lied I lose myself

If I tell the truth I lose you.

One for One

Life. We all have it, we all experience it differently.
I wanted to touch base on something that my experience taught me.
The heart and brain will never be one. They are not friends and will never be friends. My heart is depressed and my brain is overloaded with information.
Not all are equal, just like the heart is not equal to the brain. The brain fights for survival and logic. The heart fights for compassion, and fairness. We are loving beings at the end of the day.
What is the true meaning to life? I don’t think anyone knows. I don’t know much. I can’t even tell you what I want to do from this point out. I can tell you, though, that a smile is better than a frown.
A child is pure. A child doesn’t know what lies are. They are usually heartfelt and don’t understand what life is. Life is their playground until one day, someone shuts them up. Their brain registers a protection Mechanism.
Life isn’t always rainbows and unfortunately, one day we grow old. Stupidity sells. Half naked girls sell. That has nothing to do with the heart. The heart feels, yet the brain is more logical. The heart knows it never dies, but the brain is aware. The internal battle we all face on a daily basis comes from the heart and the brain always fighting and coming into conflict with one another. They are never at peace.
Learn how to build boundaries around a broken heart.
Broken can be healed. Life isn’t always as it seems. What is right for us here isn’t always right for someone else far away. This world is separated. People are divided. There is a lot of real-life issues that we face on a day to day basis. We get blinded in not wanting to feel anymore. We can’t always express ourselves because when we do, we get shut down.
Life is a blessing, a gift, a lesson to self reflect on what it is that makes your heart sing. Do something you love and the rest will follow. Don’t look into the bullshit.
All this comes from my own personal experience; none of this comes from me studying or doing anything other than living. We are all different, we are all one for one. We all have some sort of gift that this world needs to see. Don’t be afraid to shine your inner light. That’s what should shine in your darkest moments. I used to feel anger on the inside at times. I used to lash out and all this fire inside was becoming worse than a desert fire. I didn’t understand that this fire also had its own light. This fire set up my biggest light – the light of self-reflection.Life. We all have it, we all experience it differently. 

I wanted to touch bases on something that my experience taught me. 

The heart and brain will never be one. They are not friends and will never be friends. My heart is depressed and my brain is overloaded with information.

Not all are equal, just like the heart is not equal to the brain. Brain fights for survival and logic. The heart fights for compassion, and fairness. We are loving beings at the end of the day.

What is the true meaning to life? I don’t think anyone knows. I don’t know much. I can’t even tell you what I want to do from this point out. I can tell you though a smile is better than a frown. 

A child is pure. A child doesn’t know what lies are. They are usually heartfelt and don’t understand what life is. Life is their playground until one day someone shut them up. Their brain registers a protection machoism.

Life isn’t always rainbows and undoubtedly one day we grow old. Stupidity sells. Half naked girls sell. That has nothing to do with the heart. The heart feels. The brain is more logical. The heart knows it never dies the brain does. The internal battle we all face on a daily comes from the heart and the brain fighting always. There are never at peace with one another.

Learn how to build boundaries around a broken heart.

Broken can be healed. Life isn’t always as it seems. What is right for us here isn’t always right for someone else far away. This world is separated.  People are divided. There is a lot of real-life issues that we face on a day to day basis. We get blinded in not wanting to feel anymore. We can’t always express ourselves because when we do we get shut down. 

Life is a blessing, life is a gift, life is a lesson to self reflect on what it is that makes your heart sing. Do something you love and the rest will follow. Don’t look into the bullshit. 

All this comes from my own personal experience no of this comes from me studying or seeing. We are all different, we all one for one. We all have some sort of gift that this world needs to see. Don’t be afraid to shine your inner light. Your inner light is what should shine in your darkest moment. I used to feel anger on the inside at times. I used to lash out and all this fire inside was become worse then a desert fire. I didn’t understand that this fire also had light. This fire set up my biggest light the light of self reflection.  

Dead Presidents

We worship dead people on paper. What if things were a little different. What if you started showing the world color to a colorless world. We are all trapped to something. Try and break free of what life throws at you. I wish you could see what it is like knowing what it is to die without really dying. Would you really think that life is more than what life really is?

I don’t preach, I speak, I don’t want you to know anything other than the self-love that you need to grow. Self= You love= you. Self-love is what life is all about.

Some of us become our parents growing up to only make our kids which is the cycle that never ends, unless becoming that change to that parent you needed when you were a kid.

I don’t need fixing, you don’t need fixing. We all need happiness and happiness starts with accepting what life is. Walk away from toxic things in life, become more than what you were yesterday. People will never understand you and at the end of the day, you don’t need to be understood. You need to understand yourself.

Take what you need from this or take nothing at all.

You’re still here

Today I was thinking to myself, what is the point of doing anything if I am going to die one day. I then quickly told myself I am not dead yet. Won’t be dead for a while. I am here now and now is all I have.
After almost dying I was waiting to die without seeing what it was like living after almost dying. Everyone has an answer to a question that was never asked. I had an answer to my question that I never asked.
You can limit yourself to what you think you would be in a world that has endless opportunities.
There are always going to be good and bad in the world – without either, none would exist. The word exist is also the word being. Human which is us and being which in now makes a human being.
I am not fond of routine, structure, or planning. I am a big believer in trusting that whatever you set your mind to you will accomplish. I have learned how to master what I need; what Mouhamad Beydoun needs.
So many of us just exist forgetting about the human in us. We forget what it is like being a human. I try my hardest to be a good person. I am not always a nice guy… at times I give zero fucks and at other times I give the world my heart.
There are things that I need to start realizing: not everyone will understand what they want from the words or actions you let out, it is never your responsibility to change their mind or their viewpoint. You will lose too much of who you are. – Note to self
There are so many good people on this earth, we get blinded by the ugly, ugly will always outshine the good “if you allow it”.
If you were to talk to me six months ago, you would’ve thought I belonged in a mental health hospital. This thing called paranoia started to kick in. I was trusting people in thinking they could save me with me trying to save myself.
I still live with my parents, I still struggle to find a source of income to help me move out. However, I am doing what I love and doing what I want. Not a lot of people like to hear that because they never had the chance to really do whatever they wanted. Too stuck on thinking or waiting for other people’s opinion on them. I was one of those people.
I am always here to listen, I am always here to talk, I am always here with you at heart. Don’t rely on anyone saving you; save yourself. Show the world who you are raw and uncut, show the world a side of you that you want to be around at night when you are all alone and need that someone to tell you that everything will be okay.

Narcissism, Self-centered, Fraud, Fake.

Label me. I don’t really care anymore.

Speak opened minded, self-reflect on your own self. No one can save somebody that doesn’t want to save themselves.

Dear people, I don’t know who this will reach, I hope it reaches somebody that needs it the most.  We are all going through something in Life. I want to first thank the people who believed me in and I let them down.

Deep down somewhere in my heart lays a compassionate soul. There are many different layers under the surface of my being.

I am grateful enough to be where I am now. I have one of the best families in the world and it’s time I start doing for them what they did for me.

Sometimes Parents can be confusing, they don’t listen, they try and discipline you, ten years too late. They always have their best intentions at heart. Somewhere in life, we get hurt mentally, and then we stop growing emotionally.

Hurting doesn’t need to be forever, hurting stop when you figure out that sometimes, we need to self-reflect on what really matters.

Self-reflecting isn’t always blaming yourself, it’s accepting that you are human, it’s telling yourself that nothing in the past will define who you are today.

I try and talk about being yourself, We are all one race at the end of the day separated by religion and dumb politics, we are divided. Seeing end of life makes you not be able to see current life at times.

I am good where I am right now. What I don’t understand is someone who is positive 24/7, find me a person that is happy all year round. I’ll find you a million who aren’t. I give credit to those who mask their pain. Life is all pain. We one day will die, our energy will never die but we will. Masking is like trying to dry a surface with wet paper, it will just make everything messier.

BTW I am not the best writer, I am good at expressing myself. I’ll make it one day.

ps. Introduce yourself, I would love to get to know you guys.

Double sided conversation.

Knock knock!

Who’s there ?

Me.

Me, who?

It’s me, you. The person that has been with you for the last 27 years of your life. Can you let me in?

No.

What do you mean no?

I said NO!!

Why do you always do this?

Do what?

This.

Can you just leave me alone?

No, I can’t leave you alone. I let you be for a little while and now it’s time to man up and get your shit together.

What do you mean by get my shit together? I have it together.

You do?

Yes.

Can you explain to me how then do you have it together, if all you have been doing for the past three years is just waste our time. I get that people and experiences hurt you but you need to let that shit shape you instead. Let me tell you a story about yourself that no one will understand. You are different. In being different, that means you’re special, not everyone will get you, and not every needs to get you. You have everything and everyone around you to support you. Stop acting like a spoiled little child for once. I get that you went through a lot and I am not just saying that to make you feel better. I experienced it with you. I saw how hard you fought. You took over for a while, and now it’s my turn to take back who I am. There are parts of you love and some parts that are no longer needed. If you can find some moderation in your life, maybe, just maybe you will be okay.

Listen… stop thinking that you won this fight. I did.

We both did.